Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Better then fishing

“What are you doing? Get down this instance” The man shouted.

Great they would not let you live and they would not let you die.

“Get lost who ever you are” I shouted back at a figure beneath me.

“Think of what you are doing? This life is a precious gift doesn’t waste it!” The man shouted back with urging in his voice.

Holy crap! Not this shit. I looked at my digital watch the light was still functional. Had to be it was the latest version of the watch. It was 3:00 am. I wonder what the moron was doing here. I was contemplating suicide, what was his sorry excuse.

“Hey man, please save your bullshit about life and stuff. I have taken a lot of efforts to get up here, now the only easy way down is on the other side in water!”

“No this is wrong. Give me a chance I can make you realize the grave mistake you are about to make. I am coming up.” The man said and started to climb the cliff

That was amazing the fool actually was coming up to reason with me. Such humanity and kindness was rare. Well I did not prefer a lecture and a headache before I depart this life, so I prepared to jump in the abyss of death.

“Please give me a chance” The man begged again.

Damn I cursed. Oh hell, what was there to lose? I sat down on the jagged ground. It was a beautiful morning the moon was unblemished and shinning. Cold breeze was blowing in. I knew the water must have been nice and cold below. But this guy showed up and ruined the whole mood.

“Wow beautiful atmosphere isn’t it? Perhaps it would be wise if you move a little from the edge”

I looked at the man. The guy was middle aged and had a middling body. And he had specs on! This was one dude who was prepared to give me a lengthy sermon.

“Oh come on dude. I am going to jump and end my life. You wasted your time getting up here. And I swear if you take one more step toward me I’m off the cliff” The man was advancing towards me but froze the moment as he saw me launching myself to jump.

“Ok ….ok relax”

The man froze where he was. A look on uneasiness flushed over his face. I felt sorry for the old cow.

“You don’t look so old, why are you doing this?” The man inquired.

“What can I say? Life’s a bitch.” I retorted. The man was taken aback by that statement. Old fool wanted an enchanted tale out of me.

“What the hell are you doing here at this time? Don’t you have better things to do then to roam around and spoil suicide fun?” I smiled a little.

“Had a fight with wife and the argument carried on and on, so I took the car and left to enjoy the beauty nature has to offer.” The man smiled and looked at me cautiously. I’ve moved my self closer to the edge. Even with the moon shining I could not see the bottom. This was one long ride down to hell.

“Had a fight with wife? Ehh...I think you should jump with me then. All these families’ disputes will devastate you; better kill yourself now with your own will. I tried to reason with the silly man.

“Oh no...It’s a normal thingy. I love my wife. We have two beautiful children. Sara’s eight and John is five. They are such gorgeous kids. I bet life must have offered you a lot of beautiful relation ship too?”

Hmm. Good point, thought hard about it. Was born in an orphanage, nobody really liked me. Had a wife but she disappeared with dude I thought was my best friend. That was all the love and relations I’ve had in the twenty three years I’ve breathe on this lousy planet.

I got up to my feet. The man took few quick steps toward me.

“Hey I am warning you! I said I would jump!” I shouted and wiped the dust off my cloths. The man was too jumpy.

“Ok .Ok I thought you were going for it” The man sighed and stood where he was.

A moment of awkward silence passed between us. The man was thinking hard how to convince me not to jump and I was thinking too. The guy was right why I should kill myself. But then it hit me life’s a bitch and all.

“Hey I did not get your name?” The man finally said it.

“I’m Jim” I smiled sadly and gave the guy the looks only a suicidal can. I jumped.

The man was quick for his age. He ran and threw himself at me. His hands caught mine and he held me as I tangle below.

“I won’t allow this. You have your whole life ahead of you. You will marry and get a wife and beautiful kids like I have.” The man tried to pull me up.

Damn, the guy was sentimental. A look of uneasiness crept over his face as he dragged me up. He was smaller then me and weak. Maybe he saw it in my eyes. Or may be he was smart. There was no way a feeble guy like him pulls and drags the guy like me. He figured the riddle out a little too late.

“Please I’ve got wife and….”

I pulled the man hard. He tried to resist. But went flying of the edge……..

“Noooooooooooooo!” The man shouted

“Yes!” I cried happily. I saw the man going down hard and fast. He was waving his hands in air. I could hear his yelp and feel his tears. He hit the water down below and his screams died with him.

I laughed out aloud. What fun this was the fourth guy I took out in a week!

This was definetly better than fishing!

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Mother & Son

There was darkness and it was death.

Dear Mom“Everyone hates me here. No one care about my feelings. Not even you mom. I think about you every day and now I know you were mean to me. You were never there for me when the kids hammered me at school. No one was there for me when my ass was kicked in college. But you were always at home when your husband choked me. I remembered when dad broke my nose and I looked up to you for help you ran out of the room. Even when I was sent to prison no one came to my rescue. I cried for you mom. I wanted your help. But you were hiding and watched them take me away. You all think I am sick when you all treated me like shit. Well mom life is miserable in the asylum. There are mental freaks everywhere. Everyone hated me here too. The doctors they always inject me with fluids and the male nurse kicks me low when no one is around and he laugh at me. Every day I cry. Every night I scream for you I scream and scream but I guess you were having your nice sleep. You were always sleeping at nights when I cried in bed. You are wicked mom. I see that now clearly. I should have killed you too when I hammered dad with nails. I for once in my life enjoyed when I hit dad on the skull with the hammer. I enjoyed when he bleed. I was ecstatic when I cut his fingers and the blood came out. My entire life I had cried and that was the first time I was laughing as I saw him spitting blood, begging for mercy and dying slowly. But you betrayed me mom. You called the cops. You never helped me my entire life when dad battered me and you helped dad. I was glad he died and I knew I could talk sense into you. But you never came in front of me. The cops came and I cried for you. The doctor came and I cried for you. They took me away and I cried for you. But you were not there for me. Now I see very clearly. Now I know you are not my mom you are a witch. You haunt me my entire life and now I will slay you. I will hurt you mom because you hurt me my entire life. What I did to dad will seem mercy to you when I get my hands on you. Don’t worry I’ll break free from this asylum soon. And I will leave my marks here. I will butcher that mean nurse, that son of a bitch. I will kill doctors. I will kill every one in my way. I am not screaming for you now, I am coming for you. Yes mom if getting to you if hurting you makes me a psychopath, and then I have learned to be psycho from you. But mom now I want you. I am coming.

Your Son

My hands are trembling. I am crying now holding my son’s letter. My son wants to hurt me he thinks I am a witch. Oh Jason If you only knew. How hard I fought for your privileges. I was always there for you. But you never noticed. I went out of my way to help you at school. I went to your college to fight with those who beat you. Yes I went out of my way all right. If you only knew that I ran over the guy who beats you at college. I crushed him with my car. If you only knew that all those brats who used to tease you at school are now decaying in their graves. I was always sorry when Fred used to hit you. I never ran away scared when your dad used to beat you. I ran away because what he did to you was nothing compare to the brutality he treated with me. And I was ashamed to get my butts kicked in front of you. I thought you loved your dad you needed him. So I let him beat you. I knew he would never hurt you bad and he never did. There were never major injuries and you were a big boy. But that day when I saw you were killing Fred. Striking him with hammer again and again. I knew I was at fault and I knew you hated your dad. If you only knew I helped you in finishing him. He was alive when you left him. I was the one who slit his throat open I took your revenge. Yes I called the cops. But I wanted them to help you. The way you killed your own father made it clear that you were mentally sick. The doctor assured me that they would treat you well. I am working day and night to pay for your medical expenses. Is it my fault that I took care of all your problems? Jason your letter opened my eyes now. I am not a witch but you are a demon. All my life I took care for you. I killed my husband for you and that’s how you repay me. You are being evil not me and now I will punish you exactly the same way I punished all those who used to hurt you. Come home baby. Mom is waiting for you. You want to slaughter me I’ll show you what slaughtering is all about. Come home to mom.

“ I am coming home mom. Oh God have mercy” Jason shouted on top of his voice. There was silence in the car. The driver was shivering with fear. Jason did not seem to care. The driver was scared because a man who was all bloody and screaming after every minute held him hostage. “Hey Mr. Hurry Up I don’t want mom to know I am visiting her. It’s supposed to be a surprise.” The driver speed up immediately. He was a hard-hitting man and he knew how to dissent. But his guts, which were all bloody now because the psycho cut opened them a little while ago, told him to shut up and follow instruction if he wanted to live. Jason was smiling. Jason knew what must be done. He must finish the witch the sinner. “He Mr. Stop the car. This is my mom house. Thank for the lift and sorry that I hurt you but you were mean to me.” The car was stopped and Jason stepped out. The driver almost flew away with his car. A part of driver urge him to call the cops but the wicked part of him cursed him and said to hell with the psycho his bitch mom and the whole fucking world. The wicked part got the better of him as he fled away. Jason saw the driver fear and that made him happy. “ It feels nice to be mean mom. I sure hope the doctors have not reported my escape to you. I want you mom. I want you to be at home.

I am at home and I am waiting. I have my toys. I have an axe, a knife, ropes and a hammer the same hammer you used on your father son. I am not going to take my chances with you. I just received a call from the asylum. You killed five people there. You are a demon. I see it very clearly now. I am surprised. I wonder where you picked up the brutality from. No one in our family is mental. No one I knew is under par. But you are mental you are demon. I told them about the letter you wrote. They urged me on phone to go to a safer place immediately and I assured them I would. I am safe here with my toys and I will take my revenge now. You ruined my life and I will take my revenge. You are here now. You are at home son I can feel you. Please come in don’t be afraid of the dark come in. Moms waiting.

“Moms home I can feel her.” Jason whispered to himself. Jason was not smiling anymore. He was feeling uneasy a little scared. “Hey buddy its too dark in there. Mom knows you are afraid of dark she always did.” Jason brain questioned his fears. “Piss off fag I am not afraid now. I am going in and I am not afraid. The darkness will cover me. I don’t want mom to see me I want to surprise her remember.” Jason shut his mind for good and entered the house. He gave little thought to the doors that were not locked. He only wanted to slay the witch and he was not afraid of dark no he was not. So what if he could not see a thing and he was moving in the house like a blind man. “ Well at least mom won’t be able to see me.” Jason was smiling again as his grip on the knife tightened.

Oh Jason. I am so close to you. I can see you clearly. But I guess you are blind by this darkness. Oh Jason I hate you so much now. I see you with the knife. That’s how you repay your mom after all she did for you. Come closer to mom. Yes don’t be shy a few steps more. I have this hammer I want you to feel how Fred felt when you hit him. Yes its time for your punishment. Here comes mom.

The pain was immense. Jason screamed with agony. His hand went to the back of his head and he felt warm blood flowing all over him. It’s the witch Jason she got you. Jason screamed with terror as he felt a bolt of pain in his back. Then he heard the laughter. “Hey son. How do you like me now?” It was the witch all right. Jason might have told her what he felt but mom just stabbed a knife in his backbone. It was black for a moment a darkness came in front of Jason which was different then the shadows he was in it was the darkness of death. There was enormous ache in his shoulders. Mom was using her axe now. Oh God Mom knew I was coming. “She can see you Jason and you are blind run for your life.” His brain screeched with agony. “Never. I hate you mom!” Jason screamed on top of his voice and with all his might move the knife he was holding. Although Jason was blind he felt his knife going in and out of human flesh. And he also heard some one shriek with pain. And it was not him.

Oh lord the demon got me. There was so much blood so much pain. Her chest was ripped open by the knife. Oh Jason please go away. I don’t wan to play with you any more. I can see you clearly even when I am lying on the floor. You are bleeding too. We both will die. Just go back to the asylum I will pay for you. Oh no please don’t switch on the lights you will hurt me bad if you see me. You will slay me. Oh Jason I don’t want to die. I must hide. I must live.

Jason was finally listening to his brain. He was inches away from the switch. But his eyes were itching badly. The blood was going into his eyes. Oh God where is the damn switch. Jason knew she got mom. But he was terrified. She could be back any second now. And then Jason shrieked with the thought of the hammer. “You can’t afford another blow.” His mind was talking sense. And then he smiled. He finally made it to the switch. Oh mom you made my life hell. Now I must play. I want to play.

There was blood everywhere. Jason could see very evidently now. He cried a little then. He cried for himself for the agony he was in and for the wounds he got. He knew he was choking blood but his eye was searching for mom who was no longer there. “Hey Mom where are you? I just want to talk to you. I promise”. Jason was dying and he knew it but he was frustrated by the fact that mom was hiding. He searched everywhere. He went up to her room, the same room where he killed his dad. But she was not there. He went to his room where he used to get the crap beat out of him but she was not there. He was on his knees now. He was holding the same hammer his mom opened his head with. He hardly took notice of his veins, which were cut opened by him in frustration. He was lying on the floor. He was crying he was biting himself and he was crying for mom.

Hearing Jason scream for me makes me wonder. Should I go out and confront him. Or should I stay here hiding under this couch and wait for him to die. I hear him scream again. I want to scream too but I am scared and I am crying. Oh my dear Jason I am crying for you. I know now what I did to you was wrong. The same way I knew I was wrong when I got those children who used to beat you and cut them open. I always enjoyed when they screamed. I always let them rot in our basement. But in the end I always cried for those unfortunate brats. But I did it all for you. But now look what you made me do. I hurt you oh god I hit you so hard on your head I heard your skull crack a little. All my life I protected you from the people who hurt you and I end up being the one who hit you really bad. Oh Jason I guess I am a witch. Only a witch can haunt her own child. But I will make it up to you. I am dying but I still have some energy left. I am coming to you son. You can have your retribution. You can hurt me.

“Mom, Is that you?” Jason whispered. He could see a blurry vision of a figure. “ Yes Jason its me open you eyes look at me. Look at mom.” Jason opened his eyes and closed it again. It was mom. All bloody and hurt but it was mom. “ Speak to me son. You wanted to hurt me here I am take this hammer and hit me”. Mom was crying now moaning with pain. Jason opened her eyes again saw his mom holding the hammer. “No witch I want the knife give me the knife.” a voice came from him that he hardly recognized. “Yes honey you can have the knife, have it hit your mom with it.” Her mom handed Jason the knife. “Mom finally after all these years you are here for me. I cried for you and you here for me. Why did you come to me?” Jason whispered. “ I guess I love you son.” She was crying loudly now. She was crying for her son. He was cut opened from various angles. His head looked tear opened to her she could even see his brain coming out of his skull. “ Mom you finally came for me and I have been bad to you. Maybe you they were right maybe I am a psycho but mom why everyone beat me why every one laughs when I cry. Mom I am so tired. I want to use the knife now.” “Go ahead son” Jason heard is mom she seemed so far-off. Jason used the knife. The room filled with screams.

I am crying now. I am still alive. I realized too late that Jason had other ideas in his mind. I see the knife stuck in his heart and twisted in a weird manner. He left his mom and killed himself. He is bleeding so badly. His skull has grown abnormally. Dark red blood is coming out of the holes I made in his head. His eyes are opened they are wet with blood and are looking at me. I guess he is crying for me. He is calling me again. Oh Jason you always thought I never came to you when you cried. Well guess what moms coming to you. I am coming son. The pain is immense. My chest hurts and I am bleeding badly. I just opened my veins with the knife, the same blade my son used on his heart. I am with my son now. I am singing songs to him. He is smiling now. I am in pain and its getting dark. But I am happy. I am laughing with pleasure as I am holding Jason and he is holding me. I know now. There never was a demon in Jason and there never was a witch in me. We are just mother and son. And now we must rest. There was darkness and it was death.