...darklines...

Sorry

2007-08-16T13:10:00.000-07:00

---

“How many have you killed?’

Not many.

“Give me a number?”

The news says 27.

“27! Fuck no!”

Fuck yes…!

“That’s preposterous you silly asshole.”

I am sorry.

“You ought to be!”

What in store next?

“Well there will be an inquiry. Media will lash out at the lunacy. Safety measures level will go high. Wrongdoers will go in detention Yady ya ya!”

What about me? It was a nominal malfunction the regulator fucked up. I had to place the explosive some where fast.

“So Public Park was ok?”

Well I thought about MacDonald’s. But you know I am sucker for clowns! Then I saw not too far away this wretched park with some miserable families having sick, lonely and depressed gratification. So I went in and placed the sucker right in the middle of the park. Ha ha.

“Ok, I think we can make an arrangement for you to take a vacation in Dubai”

Fuck no! I want to stay here! I have a life too. I am not running away. Ask these political pundits to fucking cover me up. I was going for there purpose to begin with.

‘Don’t be an ass. They are fumed. You had to place these explosives at the journalist's protest against poverty. And you ended up blowing poverty. Ha hA HA’

I am sorry.

“You ought to be!”

HOUSE OF SICKNESS

2007-07-27T14:13:00.000-07:00

Hello folk’s; gentlemen, ladies and babies. I am the Dark side the Darkened soul, the venture from Satan’s pit and all that jazz. I have some tales to tell. These tales are for those who care to read about distress and dreadful situations in their comfy rooms, glad that it’s not them but the miserable people in the story gathering their gruesome fate. The writer is not to be blamed, for what is put forth is not in actual fact by him but by Darkened soul. Although this is hard to procure especially by you people who have yet to acquire the scheme of God and his clout but that’s the precision in its most obscure form. Everyone is welcome to read these tales which contain the sadism of life, the spitefulness of Achilles' heel and a gratifying ride filled with blood, guts and piercing gore. Enjoy!

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Jessie Happy birthday to you…”

Eileen is carrying a cake. Last year Jessie turned twelve and demanded a chocolate cream cake. Eileen baked it and we all ate the cake went to the amusement park and Jessie had such fun! This time around I see Eileen baked the same chocolate cream cake. But the mere site of the cake sickened me. Eileen is oblivion of the reality that the white creamy surface of the cake was soaked with thick blood which was oozing from Eileen hand. Jessie is not jumping with joy at the site of the cake. She is in bed and most of her face is rotten. Her body is covered with bacteria and toadstool. Her mouth is half open and blood is trickling down her chin. The room has this stench of putrefy remains and vomit.

“Hey, here you go angel, take a bite...” I am watching in distaste. Eileen is forcing a portion of the cake in Jessie mouth. Jessie swollen body is resisting I can see that but Eileen is pressing hard. What remains of Jessie mouth is bleeding all over the cake and some of it is finally in her mouth and will probably stay there and rot.

“Hey Honey, you want some!” Eileen is now facing me her hand rest on her hips which is a sign that she is irritated. I used to love that look, I was blessed to have a fine-looking wife and gorgeous kid. Now I am cursed to see Eileen. Her whole body is soaked with blood steaming down the pores of her skin. She has yanked most of her hairs off her skull in despair and anguish. But that was when she had some senses left in her. I can see that she has lost her mentality. How lucky is this!! Why can’t I lose my mind!! And become rancid happy and cheerful.

“No honey, ill have it later. You go dress up; we will go out in a while”.

“Ok, Gumby” Jessie is smiling at me and I want to scream. She has lost most of her teeth and more blood is coming from her mouth.

-----
“I am checking on dingy!”

“You better feed him too honey, I’ll give Jessie some more cake” Jessie is looking at me with her ‘oh honey you are so sweet smile.’

I am out of the room. Can’t take this anymore, I want to scream, I want to curse, I want to cry but I have been doing this since hell broke lose on my house. I am not feeling too good either. Have lost much blood, can see my skin rotting and the smutty fungus is spreading all over my skin. I am the last one to get infected by this disease. The first one was dingy, our beloved pet dog. At the far end of Jessie room is Dingy’s corner. The poor chump is still there. But all I can see is a pulp of skin and meat covered in red and still showing some sign of life. The fungus eats u slowly I guess as none of us are dead yet. We are melting inside and out, our skin is shredding and these fucking maggots are feasting on us yet we are alive. Oh well I feel I can scream for a while!!!!

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….help!! You fuckers let us out!!!

Let my wife out!! Let my kid out!!

------
“Daddy, I got a surprise for you!” Jessie arms were around me and I hugged her hard. She always gave me cute little surprises which were mere stories from school or something new she learned”

“What is it sweet face?” I kissed her cheek, admiring her beauty, her blue eyes, creamy white skin and shiny blond hair.

“Close your eyes, and open them when I say so daddy” Jessie gave me her grin.

I closed my eyes and waited.

“Open you eyes daddy!”

I opened my eyes and my heart sunk. Jessie face was crawling with maggots her last strands of hair were falling and her skin was liquefying.

“I love you Daddy” Jessie laughed hysterically and opened her mouth filled with worms.

I am up and screaming. I will scream for a while and I see Eileen is there beside me she is screaming too. May be she got some of her senses back which would last for a while. That was a gruesome nightmare! I am up only to live the nightmare. I am holding Eileen in my arms which is disgusting me as her maggots are coming over my skin and her blood is mixing with my wounds but that is the least I can do for her.

“Honey” Eileen is looking at me.

“What is it sweetie?”

“Get dressed we are running late, will take Jessie to the puppet show tonight!”

need to be cont…?

Life in Words by------Zainab Bhatti

2006-12-08T12:20:00.000-08:00

Why did she show him hope,
When she knew there was none?
Why is everything over,
When the fight has just begun?

Why did she just walk away,
When her soul was in his heart?
Why does he still love her,
When he knows they are worlds apart?

Why did she make those promises,
When she knew she couldn’t commit?
Why is his life still going on,
When he’s breaking bit by bit?

He won’t ever move on
But the least he can do is try
He has to depart – say bye bye
He can’t go on like this
Longing for her kiss
Because she’s no more here
She’s far yet so near.

================================================================

The grave

The insects, the weeds
The flowers, the trees
The graying marble slab
The name and date
Etched in Urdu, black
The mound of mud
And your moldy self
The rusted tap
The watering can
In my own two hands.
The impassion
Of shattered existence
The restless soul
Your unseen presence

=================================================================

Dear life,

You are driving me nuts
Bonkers
Absolutely up the wall
And very much insane

The feelings mutual
You don’t like me
(That’s an understatement)
You really hate me don’t you?
Well so do I
Our odium works both ways

You control me
You can let me go
But not me
I can’t let you go just like that
I have my family to think about
And that friend of mine
(I’ve just got one)

The miserable things you make me swallow
When I just want to puke them up
You dominate me and
Choke me with despair
Force upon me
Day after wretched day
When all I want to do
Is rest my soul in peace.

===================================================================

Out of your head

Why isn’t life like a video tape?
Where you can delete some scenes?
And the parts that you like,
You can play them over and over again?
Why isn’t life like a tree?
Where you can keep the ever green pieces?
And discard the ones,
That end up colorless and dull?
Why isn’t life like a volcano?
Where you spit out thoughts like lava?
And when you’re in high spirits
Just let out some steam?
Why isn’t life like a cloud?
Where you can float in the sky?
And some experiences that you dislike
You can pour them out?
Why isn’t life like a snake?
Where you can keep yourself intact?
And shed some of the memories
That live in your head?
Why is life like a jealous ex?
Always nagging at me
To get back with it
Every single day,
When I’m trying to run far from it?
Why can’t it just go away,
And leave me alone?

=====================================================================

`Silent cries`

My spirit cries alone, with blood-wet tears
It’s just me deserted, my pain and my fears
My soul is forever scarred, an eternal stain
I am the beggar – seeking all loss, no gain.

Your hurtful, hateful words awake buried flotsam thoughts
Dark damned ideas, I falsely believed I had forgot
Through holiness, a feeling of bliss is sure to arise
Useless, though, and dominated by my own silent cries

At the extreme edge of baleful life, I try to get a grip
Threats clung to my own soul, like life threatening drips
Wounds of memory become fresh, yet I attempt to dreamFalling back to reality, where life clearly isn’t what it seems
==============================================================

An ode to dad
I love you

Recall, I
The time
When you were alive
So full of character
And laden with love,
Recall, I
The time
When you were home
To a soul
And I
Just an innocent mind,
Recall I
The time
When life ran through you
And you heartened me
Through unclear patches
Of reality
Till I was 12, only,
Recall, I
The time
When you used to breathe
And you taught me Maths
When I failed my exam
You weren’t even cross,
Keep recalling, I
The moment
When you were taken away
On my brothers birthday
And how I cried
But still you died,
Keep recalling, I
That my agonizing life
Would be more than better
And more content
If you continued living
Somehow.

=================================================================

Pins and needles

2006-05-18T12:23:00.000-07:00

These are not absolute narratives just, ermm random uncanny views of a bored mind I guess. Small slices of rotten pie ;)

Alleyway kids
=============================================

“Shit! Now see what I did.” I sniveled and stumbled back.

“Huh, I asked you to snatch his wallet Joey, who the fuck said anything about slitting his throat”. James was searching the man for his wallet. The man tried to say something but could only managed few mumbles. The poor bastard was choking as he was gulping down his own blood.

“Wow look at this! This guy is loaded with cash” James showed me the dough. That brought a smile on my face.

“Help…err…pleasse… hel…” The man was begging.

“This is pathetic. Did we ask you to take a shortcut through dark alleyways? We rule here faggot!” As I counted the money James began fisting the guys face. The man managed to whimper for a while and went quiet. I did slit his gullet real bad.

“Hey isn’t this cute the guy carries his daughter picture with him” I handed James a photo of a smiling kid.”

James looked at the picture and spat on it. Then he stuffed the picture inside the man broken mouth, which was croaked and bloodied from the bashing he took.

Well that was ok the man was dead already.

Blind
=========================================

“If love is blind I am defiantly competent for it” I joked. Silence greeted me. I guess she did not take the gag well.

“Ok I am sorry. I did not mean to upset you.” I try some reasoning. More silence.

“What do you want me to say? Speak up!”

“You will never make fun of yourself again.” At last came the sweet and sugary voice of Suzanne. She sounded upset. Upset at me I guess.

“ Oh I wish I could make that promise looking into your eyes” The words slipped before I could stop myself. I heard Suzanne leaving.

Darkness and solitude my two long time companions joined me as I sat alone. It started to drizzle and I searched for my stick. I wished I could see. There was so much I wanted to do so much I wanted to have but the pain and shadows was what I was gifted with. A smile crept over my face as I slowly made my way through the graves.

“Oh I almost forgot! I brought something for you” My hand went under my pockets. Out came a rose. I bent down and felt the grave.

“Here you go Suzanne, I am sorry” I left the rose on her grave and as the sky thundered I made my way back howling from inside.

Happy birthday
==================================

“ Happy birthday screw you! Happy birthday screw you! Happy birthday dear Eric happy birthday screw you.

I smiled as I inhaled the sugary venom. The guys were certainly far above the ground. A girl who I doubt even knew me was persistently trying to kiss me as a birthday gift.

“Get her off me” I pleaded to Jessie.

“Why should I? You want a big one from me” She advanced towards me. I was on my feet in an instant. Everyone laughed. Jessie tripped and landed on the floor out cold. The girl was gifting the kiss to someone else. I moved away from them hearing few ridiculous birthday wishing. ‘I’ve been taking drugs for comfort!’ The speaker thundered with nirvana singing in his unforgettable influence.

It was my birthday it was occasion of merriment and I wanted the occasion to end with a bang.

“Hey guys look what I got myself,” I screamed with ecstasy. Few guys manage to look at me and even at their drugged and drunken phase a look of uneasiness crept over their faces.

“ Let go of it this instant!” Jessie screamed as she saw me putting the gun in my mouth.

‘Marijuana!’ My favorite nirvana song was on.

The guys were reasoning with me. Jessie was going panic-stricken.

Oh well, Happy birthday screw me. I pulled the trigger. Bang!

Jimmy
=================================================

“No!! I won’t let you take him” She was howling and was trying hard to keep him away from me. Looking at Eileen a feeling of disgust swept over me. I slapped her hard across the face and with a loud thud she crashed on the floor.

“Come, Son lets get out of this screwy town.” I grabbed Jimmy who was cowering with fear.

“No I want mommy. Go away!” Shouted Jimmy and went for his mom. I looked at him, only seven year of age and already he started to show his dad his intolerable manner.

“ Come on you brat, I’ll teach you what happens if you disobey me.” I yanked Jimmy on his feet grabbing his hairs. He squealed in pain and my wife grabbed my feet.

“Leave him alone for Christ sake! You are hurting him.” My wife begged. I looked at her face, so full of bruises and scars. A feeling of queasiness swept over me as I smashed the beer bottle on her deformed face. Screams echoed and Jimmy was finally with me.

Electric chair
=======================

I was hearing the cop instructing the other guy to increase the electrical force of the power supply. The fear was immense. I shook my head helplessly. . I shrieked with all the might in my body. But could only make a muttering sound as the bastards have put a gag in my mouth and taped it. I wished they had put a bit of acid in my ears at least I would have the pleasure of not hearing these assholes who are on a verge of devastating me bloody. I was cursing the cop hoarsely. But then it did not matter. Not the cop, not the bloody law system, not the injustice I was enduring, only because I was born in rags. All that matter was the bolt that hit me. It was a grueling and nauseating feeling of pain and terror. I felt my body burn inside me, as I winced like a road kill. I felt my eyes expanding in their sockets. My body pores were ripped and I could feel the blood streaming down my torso. The entire room filled with the odor of burning flesh.

“May lord have mercy on his soul here after” A cop said. It had been a long day and he could not wait to head for a bar.

Amen! Few muttered. The show ended.

Plague.
=====================================

I looked at my savior and smiled faintly. “You dead yet?” My rescuer asked with concern in his voice. I looked at him and nodded in disapproval. My savior was shocked to see me still breathing. I could not blame the poor guy. He just massacred my body with an axe to the best of his ability but I was still breathing. In the dim lights, I could only outline him as a dark shadow. He was a gloomy shadow casting a ray of hope on my decaying existence. The savior lifted his hand once again. Here it comes. I closed my eyes. It hit me like a bolt. The axe went in my guts ripping my organs on the dirty street. The savior did not stop then he hit me again and again. The pain was immense and the blood in my eyes blurred any vision I had. I was hoping the hurting would end with my life. After a while, in a pool of my own blood I started to wince like a road kill and went very still. “You dead now?” My rescuer asked with hopeful anxiety in his tone. I tried to look at him but saw nothing as the savior had chopped my face and perhaps my eyes were crushed in their sockets. So with great pain I shifted my body a little to indicate that I was still breathing. My savior screamed then and I heard his running footsteps. I yelp with nauseating fright and screamed for him to end my pain and kill me. But all that I could feel was blood dripping down my cracked mouth on my agonizing torso.
==============================================================

To hell with it

‘I hate this boring shit’. I thought miserably. Looking outside the window trying to escape the classroom, the dreadful professor and his nauseating lecture on economical reforms.

“Now Eric would tell us about the instability in the current economical conditions and the best approach to counter this problem”. A voice boomed over my head.

I looked up into the demons eye. Dear Mr. Richard, our economic teacher must have caught me not paying concentration to his lecture. He never asked anybody unless and until he wanted to make an example out of the students. Seeing his stern looks I knew I had to spit some economical bullshit soon or he would do something that I had to regret.

I got up on my feet and looked around. Damn Mr. Richard, half the class was sleeping why had he picked me. Oh I got it must be my ugly face. I smiled inside. Only few girls were fully up and looking at me. Few guys were also getting up from there sleep to enjoy the literary show.

“Speak up I don’t have all day” Mr. Richard bellowed with anger.

“ Economic is boring shit and you are the prime example of what happen to economist you 45 year old bald gay!”

Mr. Richard was visibly shaken. The class went dead silent apart from few giggles that came before they could be sealed.

“ You…I will… ure…career…its over…” Mr. Richard was stumbling with words.

“To hell with it. Fuck you!” I landed a fist on his face and he went down out cold. A thunderous ovation followed me as I left the classroom.

Psycho

2006-02-26T02:26:00.000-08:00

I just stumble on this one...the unique feature would be that this stuff is hmm almost 8 years old... i found it in my ancient P1 damn i use to be such a distrub soul then... why would i write these things...too good i turned out to be a normal person ;)

p.s:- its not edited so may not make sense to literate once.. heck literate ppl wont entertain this to begin wid..!!

======================================

Shut up!,be calm you can't leave
don't talk just listen to my story ,let me tie you. ..dont speak!

Reality stinks, damn you,don't blink
Don't frown..hell look into my eyes not down

Don't worry there is no fuzz about you
you always had it all no one ever doubt you

Hey..I don't need your money,I have no greed
You cursed me! hurt my feelings,well for that you have to bleed

Don't shout its just a cut on your head
I guess..I hit you hard..plz dont be dead...

Shit....I think you will die...
I have no pity so don't beg or cry

You hurt my feelings :( cursed me again
I think Its time I should end your pain :)

Hahhaha the look of terror on your eyes
Don't blame me you were the one with curses and cries

Don't worry I wont hurt you much i'll be easy on your life
I'll just slit your throat softly with this knife...

Ahh now you are peaceful, you are dead
Let me make your grave err... your bed

Hehehhe Silly me,now that I burned you
Mutated your body and burried you

I remember now that I forgot to tell you my story of sorrow
Well,what the heck I'll tell it to some one else
and catch some pitifull dude like you
tomorrow!!!

I love Sara

2006-02-11T11:56:00.000-08:00

The throbbing is catastrophic; almost disastrous. A stomach-churning feeling of pain, disgust and sadness is over shadowing my pathetic existence. I am seeing them together and I cannot take this anymore. She was holding his hands and they both were kissing, hugging, canoodling carelessly. At the far end, I stand and weep. You see…. I love Sara.

===============================================================

I am in my room with a switchblade in my hand. I know I can slit my wrists and watch blood flow down. Blood; the color of love. I am holding her picture. The one we took at the prom. She was looking stunning that day; hair tossed up in a bun with loose curls caressing her soft face. And I guess I was not looking bad either. We laughed and danced and drank a lot of beer till we collapsed. I am laughing hard now, as tears are gently flowing down my face.

You see, Sara and me go way back, I remember the first time I met her at junior high. I was the new kid and she was a big bully back then.

“Hey you, come here!” She demanded.

“Me, why? What did I do?” I went up to her. She was big and slightly overweight and was looking at me heatedly.

“Come here you prick!” She grabbed me from my sleeves and started to drag.

“Hey, what gives?” I started to shake with tears in my eyes.

“What’s your name?” She roared.

“Joey…let me go!!” I begged.

“Give me your lunch!” She demanded.

“Here, just leave me alone!” I cried, but no one heard me.

===============================================================

Those were the days. I am looking at the dance pictures. These pictures were taken four years ago but I still remember those beautiful days and would take them with me to my grave. I was selected as her dance partner and junior high was long gone. The bully turned into a beautiful young woman and the whimpering kid was a strong good-looking man. I was drowning; drowning in love, and all I cared about was Sara and even now as I shed tears, I love Sara.

“I am telling you it’s a bad idea, why don’t you take Eric as your partner.” I tried to protest while she laughed.

She was wearing an untailored white blouse neatly tucked in her Levis and was looking as beautiful as ever. I was in my usual sports attire and was flushed with embarrassment. We were holding each other in our arms and were dancing at a snail's pace on the beats of some classic song. These were romantic moments and I was secretly hoping they would never have to end.

“Hey don’t be a Jack; Eric is not a good dancer. I’ve seen you move like a maniac in the club. You can do this. Isn’t this sweet?” Her deep blue eyes were on mine and for a moment I was hypnotized by her attractiveness, her skin dripping with a sweet smelling perfume which filled the air, I pulled her closer.

“Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet!!” I heard a crowd roar behind me. I let go of Sara and turned around to see all the guys looking at our direction and grinning broadly.

“Now I see why Joey was missing gym. He is into dancing.” Eric was laughing like a maniac and all other guys were taking his leads.

“Hey leave Joey alone, he is helping me out. He is such a darling,” Sara landed a quick soft kiss on my cheek and then nothing mattered as we practiced ballet for hours. Later at the prom night we won the dance competition. Side by side we stood together; holding hands, laughing and hugging as the guys tried to tease me.

“Joey,” Sara was caressing my hand with her smooth fingers and we were sitting at a corner; where a couple of hours ago the DJ was rolling discs.

“Thank you so much for being my dance partner. I am so happy that I know ...”

I didn’t let her finish the sentence, as I traced her lips with quivering fingers and kissed her on the mouth.

===============================================================

I love Sara and I cannot stand looking at the picture I am holding now. Its Sara’s wedding picture. With a huge grin on her face, she is standing proud with her man; my friend Eric. I was at the wedding but was at a far corner, hiding behind a tree; watching them kissing tentatively in view of the guests. I remember having once been hit by a car and went flying in a nearby wall. I was hospitalized for a month and was in great agony but that pain was feeble to the pain I was feeling at the wedding. My heart was sinking and blackness swept before my eyes. I somehow made it to my apartment and crashed on the doorsteps.

===================================================================
“Hey!” Sara face lit up as she saw me at the door.

“Can I can come in?” I asked hesitantly.

She gave me her sweet expression of annoyance that I adore.

“You silly, you don’t need to ask, step in.”

I had the ring in my pocket. And I was gathering the courage to present it to her and ask her to take my hand.

“Hey, you goof! I know that look, what do you want, I am not going to lend you any money!”

Sara eyes were fixed on mine. She had a mischievous grin on her angelic face. Her hairs hung loosely on her shoulder and her eyes were fixed on my face.

“Well I’ve been trying to tell you for so long… that I…. I…”

The doorbell rung and then my whole world collapsed.

“Hey who could this be? You hold your thoughts. I’ll be right back!” Sara smiled and went out, leaving me and my thoughts alone.

After a few minutes I heard Sara scream. I was on my feet and out in a stance. I was ready to rip apart anyone who made her scream.

It was Eric and he was holding my Sara and she was screaming with excitement. I stood there confused as I saw them both canoodling and smiling. And then Eric kissed Sara on the mouth and my heart sank in an abyss of darkness.

“Joey!” Sara ran towards me and enfolded my body in her arms.

“Look at this, just look at this!” Sara was waving her hand. And I saw it. She was wearing an engagement ring.

“Eric just asked me to marry him and I said yes!” Sara looked at me and a look of uneasiness crept over her face.

“Are you okay Joey?” Sara was looking at me with those lovely, half concerned blue eyes.

“Congratulations!” was all I could say forcefully and halfheartedly.

What I am doing won’t be considered human by most mortals. I would be labeled a psycho, a maniac or a mentally retard person but nobody would know the reason I am doing this. But I know it in my heart I am doing all of this because of Sara. I love Sara. I just heard Sara moan. She must be regaining her consciousness. But I am not worried I had tied her. I am not evil but I can’t control the hate and hurting in my heart, and the hurt that she caused in me is a great deal. You see I invited both Eric and Sara at my apartment, as any normal person would invite a friend. A friend? Hah! Such a temptress she looked, her curvy figure being accentuated by her sexy silk blouse and short black skirt. In they walked into my trap, hand in hand. As they ate, I creepily smiled but no one was kind enough to pay any heed. I had drugged their food. As they lay comatose, I tied them both up and threw them in the cold attic. I have never hurt a person in my life so slitting Eric’s throat was the hardest thing for me to do. And I was taken aback as he woke up from his unconscious state and struggled with the ropes till he bled to death. I dragged Eric’s body away from Sara and started to kill her the same way. But my hand froze. The memories came back hard then, and I was drowning in a sea of flash backs. I remembered the bully at junior high, the young woman at the dance and her innocence, which I had fantasized about so much. I knew I could not do it. Eric was not who I cared about but I love Sara.

So I am writing this suicide note and Sara is weeping and asking me questions. She wants to know where Eric was and why I was doing this. She could not believe that her best friend could be a maniac. I don’t know why love is supposed to be bliss when it hurts so much. I am almost finished with my suicide note. I don’t feel any good as I have slit my wrist a few minutes before and blood was dripping off my wounds.

“Joey for God sake please, I beg you stop this!” She was trying hard to convince me with tears flowing down her face, as I walked towards her. I cupped her angelic face in my hand as tightly as I could, raised it and gently traced her lips with the tips of my fingers. I looked lovingly at the horror-struck look on her face and let out a pleasured moan.

“You made me do this, honey, only you…” I whispered, as I pulled myself closer to her and threw her on the floor, climbing on top of her heartlessly, lifting her skirt, unbuttoning her blouse, revealing soft skin. Words failed her, and all I heard was heavy breathing, heart pounding, shocked gasps, and terror in her eyes but I did not care. I had her. She was mine, and nothing would take her away from me. Absolutely nothing.

==========================================

ending is not by me.. u can suggest one if u like?

Clowns

2006-01-29T02:18:00.000-08:00

Here comes the clown. Loading guns and sarcastic frowns
Freak show, a sleazy affair, and carcass rotting, apathy near

Fuck the clown! Compel their scowl upside down
Prolong shrieks, cowardly escapes and gutless retreats

Thaw out the bodies’ and slaughter the purity
Smash to smithereens, dance devil… formulate surety

Here comes the clown. Loading guns and sarcastic frowns
Freak show, a sleazy affair, and carcass rotting, apathy near

Decease clown, diseased and filthy clown, smiles the malformed
Inherited pain and humiliation, eternal haunt

Beseech to differ Clown? And carp to unshackle?
Plea not to dreadful abhorrence but pursue a jackal

Here comes the clown. Loading guns and sarcastic frowns
Freak show, a sleazy affair, and carcass rotting, apathy near

Satan's Feet

2006-01-12T03:18:00.000-08:00

Fleshy tissue stinks, the cadaver burns in sadistic flames…
Screams reverberation, hurt exhausts, Satan’s blame…

Adolescence decomposing, melting corpses, screaming so sound…
Contaminated internal suffer, detestation propels, chaos crowned….

Thrusting fears, brutal piercing spear, fierce anarchy near…
Pungent dust, stench heave, weeping blood-spattered tears…

Persecute innocence, boogie on the bereavement floor….
Run- rabbit-run, hide and seek, trepidation for more…

Darkness scattered, bombs boomed, humanity doomed
Twinge droplets to the soil, melancholy blossom gloomed….

Hate breed and sadistic thoughts, blood bath and suffer creed
Tick-tock, nirvana lost and pain progress, clock ends and life stop…

Trick or treat? Lie or deceit? Struggle or retreat?
Lunacy predict, yielding maniacs… hailing Satan’s feet.

Body Snatcher

2006-01-07T12:25:00.000-08:00

Part1-“Digging the grave”

“ Ok man this is it…. You sure you want to do this?” I looked at him. His face was a grim mask of panic and he was shaking like a leaf. Poor dude, I smiled. The situation was too momentous for him and I knew he would have given anything to get out of the predicament he was in.

“Yes, I am sure, and don’t you worry. This is my idea so no one would blame you,” I tried to comfort the guy as I handed him the shovel.

“ Why are we doing this, come again Eric?”

I gazed hard at James and my eyes went for my wristwatch. It was 1 am in the morning. A perfect time to put the plan in action and James was wasting precious time.

“ We are doing this because we both agreed that this is the best way to earn money. Man if we don’t get our share of marijuana soon we are going to die anyway so stop your bitching and start digging.”

And digging we did. After intense efforts we managed to disband the grave and was mesmerize to see a beautiful dead girl inside. I knew her. She was Tiffany, her story was sad; she was born with a hole in her heart that caused her life at the tender age of eighteen.

“Man I can’t believe this, we just attended her funeral the other day and here we are fucking things up.” James bitched again. But I was not listening to him. I was looking at Tiffany her immaculate body went radiant by the moonlight showering on her. I bent and kissed her softly on the lips. It felt strange and cold I backed off and laughed.

“Now that would never have happened if she was alive James, would it?”

James gave me a sickening look and handed me the knife.

It was time to get messy. In two hours the work was done. Tiffany’s dead body ended up in a pile of bloody and gooey red meat.

But we had our jars full. I made sure we had everything. I took out the eyes, lungs, liver heart and meat. James was puking and wincing and was covered with blood. I went out of the grave and collected the jars.

“You did not help much buddy” I smiled at James who was covered with blood and was looking at me indifferently. I was in no good condition; not only I smelled like shit but also was painted red with blood.

I went for the car. It was 4 am and was peaceful so there were no worries for me. I put the jars in the car and went back.

“ You asshole! Look what you did, now I have to do extra work.” I snapped at James.

He could only mumble a little and I felt for the poor guy. His skull was ripped open by the shot I gave him by the shovel and he was face in on the bloody remain of tiffany’s. He was whispering or begging as I buried him alive.

Whew Hard work! I gasped and fled from the scene as soon as morning begins to enter the zone.

The dreadful day was over and time went on. Few weeks later I was sitting in the cafeteria with sadness in my heart and money in my pockets. Selling body parts was not a bad experience but I was missing James. He was the best guy to smoke pot with. I knew I would be seeing James soon as I needed money again and I knew James would help being a considerate bastard he was.

I silently ate my sandwich, when my fellow classmates came charging from behind.

“Give me this, shouted one guy and snatched the sandwich from my hand.”

Not again I looked at the group crossly. The damn guys were animal. Within minutes the sandwich was gone.

“Sorry Eric but you know how we love these sandwiches.” Brittany was licking her fingers.

“Yes dude, your food taste the best. Come on tell us your secret and we would leave you and your food alone” Tom smiled at me.

I looked at the greedy bunch and retorted angrily.

“ I’ve told you thousand times, I use human meat and its delicious, so go get your own and leave my food alone for crying out loud.”

They all looked at me, few made faces and few burst out laughing. I looked at Brittany. She was giggling too. Damn! She had such a beautiful body and she was so healthy. I envisioned her in the grave and a smile crept over my face…

faceless

2005-11-12T11:43:00.000-08:00

Help is all I could yelp…
Insecurities bounded by obscurities…
Let me drown, beseech death to be my crown…
No more, this retribution I cannot abide…
Slay me sympathetically the throbbing I can’t hide…
Can I flee the unhappiness this time?
Would they allow me to commit one crime?
Suicide…suffer…bleed…and I cried…

Chronicle of Eric: Poor Jessie

2005-09-18T03:36:00.000-07:00

I loved the sugary sounds of scream and suffering. As I was pealing the bloody skin of Jessie with a razor blade her shrieks and cries were only adding to my excitement. I looked at her beautiful face, which was so full of distress and suffering.

I would have enjoyed further but I heard my Dad shouting.

“ Eric! Keep it down!” My Dad barked.

I smiled and looked at Jessie. Dad was such a naïve. He thought I was having fun with Jessie in the basement. I turned down the volume of my stereo system.

Jessie was out of her wits. She was slanting and turning on the ground in a state of blind panic and immense pain.

“Hey Bitch, I am not through with you yet,” I whispered to her.

I opened my toolbox and took out my hammer. I went to Jessie and lifted her up. She moaned in pain and looked at me with tears building in her eyes. I hit her lightly on the head. She winced in pain. I smacked her again, harder this time. She screamed a little but I was not thrilled. I thumped her again, this time using the pointing edge of the hammer. That was an ideal shot and had a perfect landing on her skull. Her head cracked open and a stream of thick red blood flew from her head. She shrieked in hurting and fainted.

I lifted the motion less body of Jessie and placed it gently on the table. As I looked at her gorgeous face, it reminded me of her innocence and sweet nature. I was sadden for a moment but then smiled at the thought of mutilating such a wonderful face. I belted her body to the table. I knew the consequence of acid would be dire and unbearable and I did not want Jessie to make a huge fuss over it. Dad might hear it and I’d get my ass whopped. So when I was sure that Jessie was tightly tied to the table. I went to my beloved toolbox again.

The irony of life, that I found pissing was choices. I looked at the many bottles of acid in the toolbox. Damn! I was unable to decide which acid to select for Jessie’s face and Jessie was regaining consciousness. To make matters worst the alarm on my wristwatch indicated that Dad would call me for dinner in an hour or so.

So I took two different bottles containing the most hazardous acid and went to Jessie. My mere sight made the unfortunate Jessie winced in pain.

“Don’t worry honey. It would hurt badly but I promise the pain wont last forever.”

She looked at me horrified and shocked as I poured both acids on her beloved face. The effect was wonderful. As the room filled with the nauseating smell of burning flesh, the feeble and frail body of Jessie found incredible strength. The whole table shook as she tried to break free. I smiled at her feeble attempts. Poor Jessie, her face was melting I could even see the bones beneath her skin. Her efforts died as she looked at me blankly. Her eyes were full of pain and I could not bear the sight of poor Jessie looking at me. I went for the acid again and pour all the left over in her eyes.

She flinched in throbbing for the last time as the world around her darkened and she finally died.

Damn, now the hard part. I quickly turned on the volume of my sound system. I untied the mutilated and filthy body of Jessie and threw her on the ground. How I hollowed out the grave for Jessie and buried her in the basement is a different story and conceivably a squander of time to be put in words.

So as I finally buried poor Jessie, I heard my dad again.

“ Turn down the volume!!” Dad shouted.

“Ok dad, anything for you” I replied cheerfully. It turned out to be a wonderful day for me.

******************************************

I was in my room and was looking good. I just had a nice bath and was planning to start my homework when dad walked in with a bad news. Jessie had disappeared. My dad and me searched for her obsessively. But she was not found and I cried my heart out. I missed her so much. God knows what happened to her!

Well a month later I was in high spirits again as it was my birthday. I just turned fifteen and my Dad bought me a pet as a birthday gift. She was a pleasant and friendly dog. I looked at her cute face wondering what games would I play with her.

In homage to my last pet dog, I named her Jessie…

Better then fishing

2005-08-24T11:58:00.000-07:00

“What are you doing? Get down this instance” The man shouted.

Great they would not let you live and they would not let you die.

“Get lost who ever you are” I shouted back at a figure beneath me.

“Think of what you are doing? This life is a precious gift doesn’t waste it!” The man shouted back with urging in his voice.

Holy crap! Not this shit. I looked at my digital watch the light was still functional. Had to be it was the latest version of the watch. It was 3:00 am. I wonder what the moron was doing here. I was contemplating suicide, what was his sorry excuse.

“Hey man, please save your bullshit about life and stuff. I have taken a lot of efforts to get up here, now the only easy way down is on the other side in water!”

“No this is wrong. Give me a chance I can make you realize the grave mistake you are about to make. I am coming up.” The man said and started to climb the cliff

That was amazing the fool actually was coming up to reason with me. Such humanity and kindness was rare. Well I did not prefer a lecture and a headache before I depart this life, so I prepared to jump in the abyss of death.

“Please give me a chance” The man begged again.

Damn I cursed. Oh hell, what was there to lose? I sat down on the jagged ground. It was a beautiful morning the moon was unblemished and shinning. Cold breeze was blowing in. I knew the water must have been nice and cold below. But this guy showed up and ruined the whole mood.

“Wow beautiful atmosphere isn’t it? Perhaps it would be wise if you move a little from the edge”

I looked at the man. The guy was middle aged and had a middling body. And he had specs on! This was one dude who was prepared to give me a lengthy sermon.

“Oh come on dude. I am going to jump and end my life. You wasted your time getting up here. And I swear if you take one more step toward me I’m off the cliff” The man was advancing towards me but froze the moment as he saw me launching myself to jump.

“Ok ….ok relax”

The man froze where he was. A look on uneasiness flushed over his face. I felt sorry for the old cow.

“You don’t look so old, why are you doing this?” The man inquired.

“What can I say? Life’s a bitch.” I retorted. The man was taken aback by that statement. Old fool wanted an enchanted tale out of me.

“What the hell are you doing here at this time? Don’t you have better things to do then to roam around and spoil suicide fun?” I smiled a little.

“Had a fight with wife and the argument carried on and on, so I took the car and left to enjoy the beauty nature has to offer.” The man smiled and looked at me cautiously. I’ve moved my self closer to the edge. Even with the moon shining I could not see the bottom. This was one long ride down to hell.

“Had a fight with wife? Ehh...I think you should jump with me then. All these families’ disputes will devastate you; better kill yourself now with your own will. I tried to reason with the silly man.

“Oh no...It’s a normal thingy. I love my wife. We have two beautiful children. Sara’s eight and John is five. They are such gorgeous kids. I bet life must have offered you a lot of beautiful relation ship too?”

Hmm. Good point, thought hard about it. Was born in an orphanage, nobody really liked me. Had a wife but she disappeared with dude I thought was my best friend. That was all the love and relations I’ve had in the twenty three years I’ve breathe on this lousy planet.

I got up to my feet. The man took few quick steps toward me.

“Hey I am warning you! I said I would jump!” I shouted and wiped the dust off my cloths. The man was too jumpy.

“Ok .Ok I thought you were going for it” The man sighed and stood where he was.

A moment of awkward silence passed between us. The man was thinking hard how to convince me not to jump and I was thinking too. The guy was right why I should kill myself. But then it hit me life’s a bitch and all.

“Hey I did not get your name?” The man finally said it.

“I’m Jim” I smiled sadly and gave the guy the looks only a suicidal can. I jumped.

The man was quick for his age. He ran and threw himself at me. His hands caught mine and he held me as I tangle below.

“I won’t allow this. You have your whole life ahead of you. You will marry and get a wife and beautiful kids like I have.” The man tried to pull me up.

Damn, the guy was sentimental. A look of uneasiness crept over his face as he dragged me up. He was smaller then me and weak. Maybe he saw it in my eyes. Or may be he was smart. There was no way a feeble guy like him pulls and drags the guy like me. He figured the riddle out a little too late.

“Please I’ve got wife and….”

I pulled the man hard. He tried to resist. But went flying of the edge……..

“Noooooooooooooo!” The man shouted

“Yes!” I cried happily. I saw the man going down hard and fast. He was waving his hands in air. I could hear his yelp and feel his tears. He hit the water down below and his screams died with him.

I laughed out aloud. What fun this was the fourth guy I took out in a week!

This was definetly better than fishing!

Mother & Son

2005-08-10T04:28:00.000-07:00

There was darkness and it was death.

Dear Mom“Everyone hates me here. No one care about my feelings. Not even you mom. I think about you every day and now I know you were mean to me. You were never there for me when the kids hammered me at school. No one was there for me when my ass was kicked in college. But you were always at home when your husband choked me. I remembered when dad broke my nose and I looked up to you for help you ran out of the room. Even when I was sent to prison no one came to my rescue. I cried for you mom. I wanted your help. But you were hiding and watched them take me away. You all think I am sick when you all treated me like shit. Well mom life is miserable in the asylum. There are mental freaks everywhere. Everyone hated me here too. The doctors they always inject me with fluids and the male nurse kicks me low when no one is around and he laugh at me. Every day I cry. Every night I scream for you I scream and scream but I guess you were having your nice sleep. You were always sleeping at nights when I cried in bed. You are wicked mom. I see that now clearly. I should have killed you too when I hammered dad with nails. I for once in my life enjoyed when I hit dad on the skull with the hammer. I enjoyed when he bleed. I was ecstatic when I cut his fingers and the blood came out. My entire life I had cried and that was the first time I was laughing as I saw him spitting blood, begging for mercy and dying slowly. But you betrayed me mom. You called the cops. You never helped me my entire life when dad battered me and you helped dad. I was glad he died and I knew I could talk sense into you. But you never came in front of me. The cops came and I cried for you. The doctor came and I cried for you. They took me away and I cried for you. But you were not there for me. Now I see very clearly. Now I know you are not my mom you are a witch. You haunt me my entire life and now I will slay you. I will hurt you mom because you hurt me my entire life. What I did to dad will seem mercy to you when I get my hands on you. Don’t worry I’ll break free from this asylum soon. And I will leave my marks here. I will butcher that mean nurse, that son of a bitch. I will kill doctors. I will kill every one in my way. I am not screaming for you now, I am coming for you. Yes mom if getting to you if hurting you makes me a psychopath, and then I have learned to be psycho from you. But mom now I want you. I am coming.

Your Son
Jason

My hands are trembling. I am crying now holding my son’s letter. My son wants to hurt me he thinks I am a witch. Oh Jason If you only knew. How hard I fought for your privileges. I was always there for you. But you never noticed. I went out of my way to help you at school. I went to your college to fight with those who beat you. Yes I went out of my way all right. If you only knew that I ran over the guy who beats you at college. I crushed him with my car. If you only knew that all those brats who used to tease you at school are now decaying in their graves. I was always sorry when Fred used to hit you. I never ran away scared when your dad used to beat you. I ran away because what he did to you was nothing compare to the brutality he treated with me. And I was ashamed to get my butts kicked in front of you. I thought you loved your dad you needed him. So I let him beat you. I knew he would never hurt you bad and he never did. There were never major injuries and you were a big boy. But that day when I saw you were killing Fred. Striking him with hammer again and again. I knew I was at fault and I knew you hated your dad. If you only knew I helped you in finishing him. He was alive when you left him. I was the one who slit his throat open I took your revenge. Yes I called the cops. But I wanted them to help you. The way you killed your own father made it clear that you were mentally sick. The doctor assured me that they would treat you well. I am working day and night to pay for your medical expenses. Is it my fault that I took care of all your problems? Jason your letter opened my eyes now. I am not a witch but you are a demon. All my life I took care for you. I killed my husband for you and that’s how you repay me. You are being evil not me and now I will punish you exactly the same way I punished all those who used to hurt you. Come home baby. Mom is waiting for you. You want to slaughter me I’ll show you what slaughtering is all about. Come home to mom.

“ I am coming home mom. Oh God have mercy” Jason shouted on top of his voice. There was silence in the car. The driver was shivering with fear. Jason did not seem to care. The driver was scared because a man who was all bloody and screaming after every minute held him hostage. “Hey Mr. Hurry Up I don’t want mom to know I am visiting her. It’s supposed to be a surprise.” The driver speed up immediately. He was a hard-hitting man and he knew how to dissent. But his guts, which were all bloody now because the psycho cut opened them a little while ago, told him to shut up and follow instruction if he wanted to live. Jason was smiling. Jason knew what must be done. He must finish the witch the sinner. “He Mr. Stop the car. This is my mom house. Thank for the lift and sorry that I hurt you but you were mean to me.” The car was stopped and Jason stepped out. The driver almost flew away with his car. A part of driver urge him to call the cops but the wicked part of him cursed him and said to hell with the psycho his bitch mom and the whole fucking world. The wicked part got the better of him as he fled away. Jason saw the driver fear and that made him happy. “ It feels nice to be mean mom. I sure hope the doctors have not reported my escape to you. I want you mom. I want you to be at home.

I am at home and I am waiting. I have my toys. I have an axe, a knife, ropes and a hammer the same hammer you used on your father son. I am not going to take my chances with you. I just received a call from the asylum. You killed five people there. You are a demon. I see it very clearly now. I am surprised. I wonder where you picked up the brutality from. No one in our family is mental. No one I knew is under par. But you are mental you are demon. I told them about the letter you wrote. They urged me on phone to go to a safer place immediately and I assured them I would. I am safe here with my toys and I will take my revenge now. You ruined my life and I will take my revenge. You are here now. You are at home son I can feel you. Please come in don’t be afraid of the dark come in. Moms waiting.

“Moms home I can feel her.” Jason whispered to himself. Jason was not smiling anymore. He was feeling uneasy a little scared. “Hey buddy its too dark in there. Mom knows you are afraid of dark she always did.” Jason brain questioned his fears. “Piss off fag I am not afraid now. I am going in and I am not afraid. The darkness will cover me. I don’t want mom to see me I want to surprise her remember.” Jason shut his mind for good and entered the house. He gave little thought to the doors that were not locked. He only wanted to slay the witch and he was not afraid of dark no he was not. So what if he could not see a thing and he was moving in the house like a blind man. “ Well at least mom won’t be able to see me.” Jason was smiling again as his grip on the knife tightened.

Oh Jason. I am so close to you. I can see you clearly. But I guess you are blind by this darkness. Oh Jason I hate you so much now. I see you with the knife. That’s how you repay your mom after all she did for you. Come closer to mom. Yes don’t be shy a few steps more. I have this hammer I want you to feel how Fred felt when you hit him. Yes its time for your punishment. Here comes mom.

The pain was immense. Jason screamed with agony. His hand went to the back of his head and he felt warm blood flowing all over him. It’s the witch Jason she got you. Jason screamed with terror as he felt a bolt of pain in his back. Then he heard the laughter. “Hey son. How do you like me now?” It was the witch all right. Jason might have told her what he felt but mom just stabbed a knife in his backbone. It was black for a moment a darkness came in front of Jason which was different then the shadows he was in it was the darkness of death. There was enormous ache in his shoulders. Mom was using her axe now. Oh God Mom knew I was coming. “She can see you Jason and you are blind run for your life.” His brain screeched with agony. “Never. I hate you mom!” Jason screamed on top of his voice and with all his might move the knife he was holding. Although Jason was blind he felt his knife going in and out of human flesh. And he also heard some one shriek with pain. And it was not him.

Oh lord the demon got me. There was so much blood so much pain. Her chest was ripped open by the knife. Oh Jason please go away. I don’t wan to play with you any more. I can see you clearly even when I am lying on the floor. You are bleeding too. We both will die. Just go back to the asylum I will pay for you. Oh no please don’t switch on the lights you will hurt me bad if you see me. You will slay me. Oh Jason I don’t want to die. I must hide. I must live.

Jason was finally listening to his brain. He was inches away from the switch. But his eyes were itching badly. The blood was going into his eyes. Oh God where is the damn switch. Jason knew she got mom. But he was terrified. She could be back any second now. And then Jason shrieked with the thought of the hammer. “You can’t afford another blow.” His mind was talking sense. And then he smiled. He finally made it to the switch. Oh mom you made my life hell. Now I must play. I want to play.

There was blood everywhere. Jason could see very evidently now. He cried a little then. He cried for himself for the agony he was in and for the wounds he got. He knew he was choking blood but his eye was searching for mom who was no longer there. “Hey Mom where are you? I just want to talk to you. I promise”. Jason was dying and he knew it but he was frustrated by the fact that mom was hiding. He searched everywhere. He went up to her room, the same room where he killed his dad. But she was not there. He went to his room where he used to get the crap beat out of him but she was not there. He was on his knees now. He was holding the same hammer his mom opened his head with. He hardly took notice of his veins, which were cut opened by him in frustration. He was lying on the floor. He was crying he was biting himself and he was crying for mom.

Hearing Jason scream for me makes me wonder. Should I go out and confront him. Or should I stay here hiding under this couch and wait for him to die. I hear him scream again. I want to scream too but I am scared and I am crying. Oh my dear Jason I am crying for you. I know now what I did to you was wrong. The same way I knew I was wrong when I got those children who used to beat you and cut them open. I always enjoyed when they screamed. I always let them rot in our basement. But in the end I always cried for those unfortunate brats. But I did it all for you. But now look what you made me do. I hurt you oh god I hit you so hard on your head I heard your skull crack a little. All my life I protected you from the people who hurt you and I end up being the one who hit you really bad. Oh Jason I guess I am a witch. Only a witch can haunt her own child. But I will make it up to you. I am dying but I still have some energy left. I am coming to you son. You can have your retribution. You can hurt me.

“Mom, Is that you?” Jason whispered. He could see a blurry vision of a figure. “ Yes Jason its me open you eyes look at me. Look at mom.” Jason opened his eyes and closed it again. It was mom. All bloody and hurt but it was mom. “ Speak to me son. You wanted to hurt me here I am take this hammer and hit me”. Mom was crying now moaning with pain. Jason opened her eyes again saw his mom holding the hammer. “No witch I want the knife give me the knife.” a voice came from him that he hardly recognized. “Yes honey you can have the knife, have it hit your mom with it.” Her mom handed Jason the knife. “Mom finally after all these years you are here for me. I cried for you and you here for me. Why did you come to me?” Jason whispered. “ I guess I love you son.” She was crying loudly now. She was crying for her son. He was cut opened from various angles. His head looked tear opened to her she could even see his brain coming out of his skull. “ Mom you finally came for me and I have been bad to you. Maybe you they were right maybe I am a psycho but mom why everyone beat me why every one laughs when I cry. Mom I am so tired. I want to use the knife now.” “Go ahead son” Jason heard is mom she seemed so far-off. Jason used the knife. The room filled with screams.

I am crying now. I am still alive. I realized too late that Jason had other ideas in his mind. I see the knife stuck in his heart and twisted in a weird manner. He left his mom and killed himself. He is bleeding so badly. His skull has grown abnormally. Dark red blood is coming out of the holes I made in his head. His eyes are opened they are wet with blood and are looking at me. I guess he is crying for me. He is calling me again. Oh Jason you always thought I never came to you when you cried. Well guess what moms coming to you. I am coming son. The pain is immense. My chest hurts and I am bleeding badly. I just opened my veins with the knife, the same blade my son used on his heart. I am with my son now. I am singing songs to him. He is smiling now. I am in pain and its getting dark. But I am happy. I am laughing with pleasure as I am holding Jason and he is holding me. I know now. There never was a demon in Jason and there never was a witch in me. We are just mother and son. And now we must rest. There was darkness and it was death.

Nice guy

2005-05-13T04:11:00.000-07:00

I was speeding away on my bike when I heard the guy begging for help my conscious begged me to stop. I stopped my bike close to the person and examined him. He was in the pool of his own blood twisting in agony. He had been hit badly and at the late hour of night I knew no one would come to his aid at least till dawn. But if I went for him I could get in trouble myself. I knew how our authority system worked.“Your luck buddy, I’m off” I said to the poor bastard.“Please help me, don’t let me die I have kids.” The man begged again. Damn he was getting emotional and my mind was teasing me again. I get off my bike and looked around. There was no soul on the street. I examined the man closely. He was semi conscious and mumbling for help. His forehead was smashed open and blood was splashing on his face. He had lost his good looks as even in the dim light I could see his nose was missing. All was left was a smashed chunk of meat instead of a person snout.I looked around and searched the man.“Please take me to a doctor, what are you doing” The man whispered.But by then I was taking the ultimate risk by listening to my mind. I found a wallet and it was filled with dough and to top that off a latest model cellular phone.The man knew what I was up to even in his dying state.“Take the money, take everything but take me to the doctor.” The man slowly whispered.I looked at him knowing he would die “Sorry dude can’t risk it like I was the one who hit you in the first place.” I smiled sadly and went on my way.I was on my bike when I heard the man begging to me again. It was not the man but my mind that was torturing me. It was shouting at me to help the guy, I though about helping the guy for a second. The condition was sad. The man would die eventually but very pain fully. I turned my bike towards him. I saw the man face lit up as he saw me but the last look on his face was terror as I crushed his body beneath my bike and went over the road kill again and again.

I was not happy first I had my time wasted when I hit the dumb guy. Then by killing him and ending his misery I had his stinky blood all over my bike. I looked at disgust at the carcass of the man and went on my way cursing myself for being a nice guy.

Hell...

2005-04-19T12:15:00.000-07:00

Only hell…

It was the creeping sound of pain and terror. I looked around and saw that a bloody massacre was taking place. There were people lying all around me. And than there were some people running with blood pouring down their face.

I looked around and saw some deformed human beings or perhaps they were mutilated devils. They were eating the flesh of the people lying on the floor. They were tearing their faces, ripping the throats of those unfortunate people with their sharp claws. I saw with great pain as one devil picked up a baby from the floor. The infant was crying or moaning but the devil paid no heed to it. He poked his sharp claws in the chest of the baby and ripped his heart out. He threw the lifeless body of the baby, which was taken with great eagerness by other devils.

I had seen enough. I moved toward the door with a huge sign reading exit. Although the devils paid no heed to me and gave way when I came close to them I was scared stiff. I was soaked with perspiration and splattering blood that was flowing like a flood from the dead bodies.

I reached the huge door. It was wooden and had a rotten odor. May be I was going insane but I felt that the door was alive but it was too late. I went to the other side not looking back and paying attention to the rising screams and agonizing shrieks..

“Hey honey I think there is some one in the room”

My wife whispered.

I just pretend not to listen to her. In fact I was thinking about the mutilated devils and the way they ate the people.

“You bastard there is some one in the room”

My wife hit me hard at the back.

YEOCUHHH!!! I screamed and my hand went at my back. There it was a knife stabbed in my back. I felt it with my hands and also the warm blood flowing from my wounds.

” Damn you!” I yelled.

I got up quickly. And my wife never got a chance. I took the knife out from my back and put it in her chest with all my might. Laughing heartily as I stabbed her again and again.

My wife on her part just screamed and died. I looked at her wounds and the blood and it reminded me of the devil and the way one of them ate the infant’s heart. All of a sudden I had a sudden urge to do the same. I looked at the bloody deformed chest of my wife. I went for the heart. Just like the devil I burst my hand into her chest. It felt strange but I got hold of her heart. I ripped it out with all my might. Her heart was in my hand and was still beating.

“ Honey, don’t eat my heart red!” My wife whispered and grinned at me.

I looked at her and smile. Weird she was still alive. Her freaking heart was beating in my hands and she was still alive. I took one bite of her heart and puked all over. The stuff tasted like shit.

“Hey that was not nice you hurt her feeling!”

I heard some one behind me. I turned and saw my wife standing all bloody and torn. I looked at the bed and my wife was lying there too moaning softly.

“ I told you there was some on in the room” My wife whined as usual.

I turned back to my standing wife again. She was holding a knife in her hand.

“ Time to die honey!”

My wife screamed and jumped at me. I went back tripped and fell over the bed. My wife on the bed gripped me while my other wife poked the knife in my neck. I screamed with throbbing as I felt warm fluid flowing like a stream from my veins. With all my might I pushed my wife off me she hit the floor hard and screamed so sound that it hurt my ears.

I got up and looked at the bed. It was empty and my heartless wife was gone with her replica. I was sweating and bleeding badly from my wounds and then I saw it. There were many of them crawling on the floor advancing toward me. They were the little devils. I jumped off the bed and one devil got me. He bit me hard on the leg and I shrieked with pain. I looked for an escape and found it. There was the huge door with a sign reading exit. It looked familiar to me but I had no time to think. Most of the little devils were on me. Biting me, piercing my skin with their sharp needles. I ran toward the door screaming.

I reached the huge door. It was wooden and had a rotten odor. May be I was going insane but I felt that the door was alive but it was too late. Going through the door it occurred to me that I lived alone and was never married.

“Hey I don’t think this guy is dead.” I heard a sound.

I tried to open my eyes but my eyelids were glued to my skin. For some strange reason I knew that. I also knew that I am in a hospital. I was on a bed in fact I was chained to it. The chains were holding me tight. And there were two doctors standing beside me. They were the devil. I could not see them but I knew they have rotten puss filled skin that was shredding off. The doctors were holding scissors and injection and they were going to operate on me.

I tried to scream but I knew my bleeding tongue was pulled out of my mouth and pinned to my chin. So I waited….

“What do you think is the problem with him” I heard one doctor.

“Its simple there is a nail stuck in his heart all we have to do is open his chest and take the nail out.” The other devil doctor replied and laughed hysterically.

There was no noise but that of operating tools. I felt immense pain on my chest as the knife slowly opened me up. I became wet with my own blood as I felt hands exploring my internal organs. The pain was immense as the doctors pulled my heart out. I felt my body exploding and with immense pain I jerked my head. It did wonders for me as my eyelids were free from the glue holding them and I opened my eyes.

There they were the devils. They were holding my heart and examining it. I lifted me head and looked at my body. I could see every layer and arteries of my blood soaked body. There was everything but my heart. I started to cry..

“ Hey don’t cry it would be ok” One of the doctors comforted me.

“But I don’t have a heart” I replied moaning…

“ Sorry but your heart is wasted” The other devil doctor said and put my beating heart in his mouth and chewed it.

I wept as I saw the doctor ate my heart.

And then it occurs to me. The chain holding me was no longer there. I was free. I looked at the devil eagerly licking the blood of their hands. With no time to waste I swept on my feet. And started to run.

“Hey where you think you are going!” One of the doctors shrieked.

I had to get out. I ran with my organs sticking out of my opened chest and my blood flowing.

“Grab him!” One of the doctors shouted.

I was looking for an escape and then I found it. There was a wooden door with a sign reading exit. I went for it.

“Hey don’t go through that door” I heard someone.

I looked back and saw a demon appeared in the room from a monarchy of hell. I saw with horror as the demon went for the devil doctors. The doctors were clawing the face of the demon, stabbing it with their claws and needles. But the demon was not hurt by it. The demon grabbed one doctor and with his sharp teeth chewed his face off. The other doctor was now on the run but the demon easily grabbed him and rips his body apart with its demonic claws.

I was scared stiff. The only one left for the demon was I. So I ran again for the door.

“I said don’t go through that door” came back the voice again.

I turned around and saw the demon approaching me. I was terrorized, as I stood numb waiting for my piteous fate.

The demon grabbed me by my shoulder and threw me at a wall. I screamed as I hit the wall hard I felt my head split open.

“ I just saved your life.” I heard the demon but the world was spinning and blood was flowing. I guess I died.

“Wake up moron!” Someone jerked me hard.

“Huh what?” I muttered and opened my eyes.

Darkness greeted me as I slowly adjusted my eyes to the surrounding.

“ You slept almost through the entire movie.” I heard a stunned voice.

I looked at my friend. He looked like he was going to strike at me at any moment.

“ Hey sorry pal. I was so tired I guess I dozed off.” I tried to explain.

“Yeah well it’s your lost you missed a creepy horror flick,” My friend teased.

I smiled a little. My friend was occupied by the movie again. I lifted my head and looked around. Everyone was into the horror flick.

And then it occurred to me. I was shaken badly and was wet with perspiration. That was strange. Maybe I had a nightmare, I reasoned myself.

“Hey I am going for a drink.” I whispered to my friend who simply nodded in return and was obviously occupied by the movie.

I stood up making my way in the dark when for just a moment I looked at the screen. The movie was a horror flick by all means. I saw with disgust as one mutilated being tore open a teenage girls and other mutilated devil joined it as they ate the girl.

Too good I slept through this crap. I went for the exit. I was almost out when I heard some one yelled at me.

“ Don’t go through that door.”

I looked back at the darkness. Some jerk in the crowd was acting funny. I waved my finger at no one in particular.

I started to head for the exit. It was then I heard the laughter’s. I turned around and my eyes for a moment were on the screen. The deformed human beings were laughing they were destroying people, eating them and all the disgusting stuff you can get from a cheap horror flick. I smiled seeing the impractical bloody butchery. The movie was having its cheap effect for me. For a moment it felt that the creatures in the flick were laughing at me. Well I laughed at the thought as I went through the exit. I was a little pissed as some jerk in the crowd was still screaming for me to stay.

I reached the huge door. It was wooden and had a rotten odor. May be I was going insane but I felt that the door was alive but it was too late. I went to the other side not looking back and paying attention to the rising screams, the haunting laughter’s and agonizing shrieks.

“Hey honey I think there is some one in the room”

My wife whispered.

I just pretend not to listen to her. In fact I was thinking about the mutilated devils and the way they ate the people. I was shivering with fear. It all came back to me. The devils the hell I was stuck in. The rotten door that served as a gateway to hell for me. I don’t have a clue why it’s me who was chosen to suffer in this hell or who created this hell. But some how I knew that I was lucky to escape once but now I am here to stay…. and suffer..for eternity.

YEOCUHHH!!! I screamed and my hand went at my back. There it was a knife stabbed in my back. I felt it with my hands and also the warm blood flowing from my wounds…

” Damn you!” I yelled.

I got up quickly. And my wife never got a chance….

only hell....

Beautiful

2005-04-15T15:30:00.000-07:00

I was enraged and rightly so. My daughter was crying she was moaning softly. I beat her hard and I was not proud of my act. I felt like weeping too. But I knew she deserve the smacking she got from me. Oh but being a good mom I knew I must now apologize to her, I must wash all the blood and dirt off her face.

“ Oh mom I am so sorry I wont ever try to go out again, I promise.” My daughter shrieked with terror as she saw me approaching her.

“ Eileen you always do things to hurt your mom. You are a big girl now almost ten years old. Won’t you ever learn to obey your elder? I told you many times you can’t go out. Look what you made me do to you.”

I was crying now. Damn I did hurt her bad. Maybe it was the dope I was using. I was out of control when I threw her at the wall. I guess I was high when I struck her face with my fist. She was bleeding badly from her mouth. Hmm I don’t even remember hitting her mouth.

Eileen was still crying hard when she came to me hesitantly, as if she was afraid of me. It took much efforts but I was able to control the tears in my eyes. My heart was broken but being a mom I could not shed my tears freely like a ten year old.

“ I won’t go out again,” Eileen said in a whisper as she stood all tattered and torn by me.

“Silly girl, I know you won’t go out now. Not after what you made mom to do to you.”

I was dressing her wounds. She was crying still. Blood was coming from her mouth and that worried me. What if I broke some thing inside her? What if she is bleeding internally? I shook my head from these nasty thoughts. I gave Eileen a nice bath. She was whining as usual. I smiled at her. She was back to her usual self. Few hours later although she was in pain she was giggling when I tickled her. I was very glad to see that she was not bleeding from her mouth any more. It was getting late when I tucked her in the bed. It turned out to be a nasty night for her.

“Hey mom.” I was almost out of the room when I heard Eileen. I came back to her. She was struggling hard to speak. Her mouth had swollen and her lips were pressed in a weird angle. I felt bad again I felt like crying.

I held her hands in mine. She looked at me with tears in her eyes.

“Mom why I am so ugly? ”

She was weeping softly. I shed few tears too as I knew poor Eileen was right. As I looked at her face I felt pity for her. She was a child only a mother could love. God made her hideous. When she was born every one was astounded to witness a beautiful mom and her ugly baby. But she was my love. And I hid her from the world in my house. I kept her in a room. And I would not let here interact with the outside world. I knew they all would laugh at her. They would shriek in terror when they would see my daughter hideous figure. I had told the bitter truth to Eileen when she was seven. That was the first time I showed her the mirror. Oh that was a bad time. She cried when she saw herself in the mirror. She screamed to be like her mom. She wanted to be as beautiful as me. And I promised her then that I would make her beautiful. And for the last three years I have tried hard to make her beautiful like me. I did her makeup every day. I worked on her face very hard. But she was still unsightly. She was still horrible.

“Mom every one out there is beautiful like you” Eileen was pointing out of the window to the outside world.

“Yes dear they all are. And I kept you in this room for your own good. I am sorry I beat you hard. But if you would have succeeded in going out it would have been disastrous for you.” I tried to explain her but I guess it was obvious to her.

“I know mom. I am not mad at you. I know they would all laugh at me. They would throw stones at me and I remember you told me they would love to make fun of an ugly being like me. But mom when I would be like you.”

Eileen was weeping again.

“I am trying hard darling. And you are showing some signs of beauty now. But much work have do be done. I learned a new trick from my friend. I would try to use it on you tomorrow.” I kissed her softly on the cheeks.

“ Mom would it hurt” Eileen asked nervously.

“A little but it is very necessary. You want to be pretty like me you have to bear a little pain” I kissed her again as I saw her nodding in approval.

I was in my room. I was holding pins and needles. I was a little worried. Being a nurse I knew how to handle these instrument but I have not tried using them on anyone face before. But I knew as a mom it was my duty to help my daughter. I would use these on her face tomorrow. She would cry she always did whenever I tried new operation on her. But in the end she would get use to it like all the other procedure I used on her.

Going to bed I looked at the mirror. All the tears I tried to hold in front of Eileen came out. I wept for my ugly daughter. As I saw my beautiful figure my lovely reflection in the mirror. I prayed to God, I begged him to bless my Eileen with my beautiful looks.

Eileen was so hideous. I looked at my beautiful head. It was smooth. There were no dirty hairs. I was bald and it looked so nice. I wished Eileen could be bald like me. But she had hideous long golden hair. I shaved her head every week. But her hair always grew back. I have taught her how to pull her hairs out of her head. It breaks my heart whenever she cried at her hideous hairs while yanking them out with her hands.

I was weeping harder as I saw my beautiful eyes. They were small and so wonderfully packed in my sockets. I had beautiful dark circles around my eyes. Eileen on the other hand got the worst eyes I could imagine. Her eyes were so big and bright. There was not a single trace of blackness around it. Oh God why you gave her such repulsive eyes?

I looked at my figure and I cried for Eileen. She was nothing like her mom. I knew I was marvelously built. I was rounding, small and so fat. I looked like a princess. Eileen was only ten but had grown like a demon. She was so hideously slim and tall. She cried when I told her that she had a height of a demon and looks of a monster.

I was going to bed when I gave one good look to my beautiful face. I thanked God for God blessed me with such an attractive face. I had such a dark complexion. My face was nothing like Eileen. She had creamy white skin. Her skin was so soft, not hard and disfigured like her mom. Her mom had beautiful scars on her face and she had none.

Oh how hard I worked on her face and her body but nothing had worked for my poor ugly child. I always used charcoal and rub dirt on her face. So she could be black like me. I made her eat food ten times a day so she could be round and fat like her mom.

I was so unhappy. My baby wanted to go out. She wanted to meet people. But I have explained it to her many times. She was not going out at any cost unless she was fine-looking like me. It would break my heart if some one would make fun of her. But I think tomorrow she would be like me. I had never used pins and needles on her face before but may be the litter surgical procedure I would perform on her would make her gorgeous. I slept.

So much blood so much pain. I shrieked with terror as I felt Eileen puking blood on her mom.

“Oh mom! Stop it, its hurting too much” Eileen whispered in agony.

I was piercing her nose with the needle I was holding. I had stitched her ugly and bloody face several times now. She was throwing so much blood at me.

“Oh Eileen I have to work a little more on your face. Don’t be a baby. This thing is working. For the first time you are looking good to me.”

Eileen was not replying. But she was still breathing. I had to tie her to the bed because her body was jerking very hard. She threw her mom off once like a demon she was. But I worked on her face for hours weeping myself. But I knew it was for my daughters on good.

So many days have passed since then. I was very proud of Eileen. She was happy too. I remember when I showed her the mirror, when she regains consciousness few days after the operation. She was jumping with joy when she saw her beautiful face.

“Hey mom I am even better looking then you!” She jumped and hugged me. I looked at her face full of scars, her abnormal nose, the way her face was scared. And hugged her back. “ Yes you are honey, finally you are.” I replied with tears of joy in my eyes.

“Hey mom can I go out now?” Eileen asked me then.

“I am afraid not. You got beautiful face like your mom but your figure is still not round and fat. You are tall and slim like a demon. We don’t want people to make fun of you”

Eileen cried hard then. She cursed God for making her ugly and I beat her badly. But now as I stood outside her room holding my axe, my operating instrument. I felt there was still hope for her. Maybe she would go out. Maybe she would be beautiful like here mom.

There were screams, there was blood but it was for Eileen’s own good. She was finally short like her mother. Now If I could do any thing about her weight!

‘Suicide Bomber’

2005-04-15T15:16:00.000-07:00

I sit and watch. Everyone is so happy here. I am at a restaurant, a very popular fast food outlet of this lousy town. I am eating a burger and enjoying every bite of it. I never had an opportunity of eating a burger before and I guess this is the first and last time I’ll ever flavor a burger. I am going to finish this delicious burger and then I’ll blow myself.

I’ll kill myself. I would cause great pain and agony to many people here. And I would end the pain that is my life. All the pain and agony I went through ends here. All the tears I shed all the wounds I abide would disappear with me. Yes I am a ‘suicide bomber’.

There is a cute couple sitting at a table next to me. They are arguing. I hope they made up before I pull the cord of the many hidden dynamite tied all around my body, hidden under my cloth. I am distracted by the cries of one kid. He is no more then five. He is pleading his dad for an ice cream. Yeah Dad go and get your kid an ice-cream in a few minutes his bloody and torn body won’t be able to eat any ice cream ever again. I looked around me. There are many people here, more then a hundred is my estimation. And all of them are very rich and powerful. People from offices, kids with their parents, teens and even old folks all enjoying a good meal and a happy life. I wish hell to all of them and I’ll end up in heaven. The people who send me for inflicting chaos to my enemies told me this.

I don’t believe that though, Killing all these innocent people would surly earn me a first class ride to hell. The people who told me that wanted to motivate me to carry their stupid operation. They don’t know, the people who would die here won’t know either. I am doing this all for myself. I am killing poor kids and their parents all for myself. Yes I am an asshole but circumstances can make an educated and nice guy like me assholes. They can turn a commonsensical guy like me into a bloody insane human.

I want them to feel the way we feel everyday of our life. I remember well when my kid brother was shot in the head. He was shot at point blank range by the soldier who was pissed by the fact that my seven-year-old brother spat at him with all the hate of the world. The solider spat back with a bullet. I am in that soldier’s country now and all the people here are soldiers like him to me. They are the supporter of the army that is killing my people. They pay money to them and live a happy life when there money is used to put bullet in many kids in my country. The day my brother was shot was the day I turned into an asshole.

I can feel the tears coming out of my eyes. Few people are eying me suspiciously but I don’t care. I am not worried about any thing now. It would take a mere second for me to pull the cord and start a bloody massacre. I am thinking about my brother and how much I loved him. I am thinking about the time when going home I was picked up by the soldiers. They kept me under custody for over a week. They thought I was a ‘ suicide bomber’ then. I remember the torment I went through. They made me eat shit; they made me lick their shoes. Yes they beat the hell out of me, pulled my nails out with their tools. Burn my body with cigars made me puke blood every time I eat. After a week they let me go. I guess that turned me into an asshole. I went in the cell as a pissed of brother deeply wounded by his younger sibling death and walked out as a suicide bomber.
And then there are many other reasons. These soldiers drop bomb over our houses. Our women being raped everyday. And there is no one in the world to hear our pleas and cries. We are mere news to the world. Our deaths are so cheap that they don’t even count to all the happy people. People like the one I am surrounded by now. The supporters of the devils are all around me.

So that’s how an asshole suicide bomber is created. When he finds no justice, no one to fight for his bloody and torn life. And there are many like me. They want to leave a mark on this world, a bloody stain on the white cloth of life. We are dying and we in turn kill.

Yes we are wrong in killing poor innocent people. But we have gone mad seeing our loved one kill brutally and getting no tears of sorrow from other but spit of disgust on our face.

The time has come. But I am still waiting. I am waiting for the kid who was asking for an ice cream. His dad got him one and I want him to leave. He reminds me of my brother. The kid’s now gone with his dad. I looked around at the poor couple. The girl was smiling and the guy was happy. I guess they made. They are kissing now….

I pulled the cord.