Beautiful

I was enraged and rightly so. My daughter was crying she was moaning softly. I beat her hard and I was not proud of my act. I felt like weeping too. But I knew she deserve the smacking she got from me. Oh but being a good mom I knew I must now apologize to her, I must wash all the blood and dirt off her face.

“ Oh mom I am so sorry I wont ever try to go out again, I promise.” My daughter shrieked with terror as she saw me approaching her.

“ Eileen you always do things to hurt your mom. You are a big girl now almost ten years old. Won’t you ever learn to obey your elder? I told you many times you can’t go out. Look what you made me do to you.”

I was crying now. Damn I did hurt her bad. Maybe it was the dope I was using. I was out of control when I threw her at the wall. I guess I was high when I struck her face with my fist. She was bleeding badly from her mouth. Hmm I don’t even remember hitting her mouth.

Eileen was still crying hard when she came to me hesitantly, as if she was afraid of me. It took much efforts but I was able to control the tears in my eyes. My heart was broken but being a mom I could not shed my tears freely like a ten year old.

“ I won’t go out again,” Eileen said in a whisper as she stood all tattered and torn by me.

“Silly girl, I know you won’t go out now. Not after what you made mom to do to you.”

I was dressing her wounds. She was crying still. Blood was coming from her mouth and that worried me. What if I broke some thing inside her? What if she is bleeding internally? I shook my head from these nasty thoughts. I gave Eileen a nice bath. She was whining as usual. I smiled at her. She was back to her usual self. Few hours later although she was in pain she was giggling when I tickled her. I was very glad to see that she was not bleeding from her mouth any more. It was getting late when I tucked her in the bed. It turned out to be a nasty night for her.

“Hey mom.” I was almost out of the room when I heard Eileen. I came back to her. She was struggling hard to speak. Her mouth had swollen and her lips were pressed in a weird angle. I felt bad again I felt like crying.

I held her hands in mine. She looked at me with tears in her eyes.

“Mom why I am so ugly? ”

She was weeping softly. I shed few tears too as I knew poor Eileen was right. As I looked at her face I felt pity for her. She was a child only a mother could love. God made her hideous. When she was born every one was astounded to witness a beautiful mom and her ugly baby. But she was my love. And I hid her from the world in my house. I kept her in a room. And I would not let here interact with the outside world. I knew they all would laugh at her. They would shriek in terror when they would see my daughter hideous figure. I had told the bitter truth to Eileen when she was seven. That was the first time I showed her the mirror. Oh that was a bad time. She cried when she saw herself in the mirror. She screamed to be like her mom. She wanted to be as beautiful as me. And I promised her then that I would make her beautiful. And for the last three years I have tried hard to make her beautiful like me. I did her makeup every day. I worked on her face very hard. But she was still unsightly. She was still horrible.


“Mom every one out there is beautiful like you” Eileen was pointing out of the window to the outside world.

“Yes dear they all are. And I kept you in this room for your own good. I am sorry I beat you hard. But if you would have succeeded in going out it would have been disastrous for you.” I tried to explain her but I guess it was obvious to her.

“I know mom. I am not mad at you. I know they would all laugh at me. They would throw stones at me and I remember you told me they would love to make fun of an ugly being like me. But mom when I would be like you.”

Eileen was weeping again.

“I am trying hard darling. And you are showing some signs of beauty now. But much work have do be done. I learned a new trick from my friend. I would try to use it on you tomorrow.” I kissed her softly on the cheeks.

“ Mom would it hurt” Eileen asked nervously.

“A little but it is very necessary. You want to be pretty like me you have to bear a little pain” I kissed her again as I saw her nodding in approval.


I was in my room. I was holding pins and needles. I was a little worried. Being a nurse I knew how to handle these instrument but I have not tried using them on anyone face before. But I knew as a mom it was my duty to help my daughter. I would use these on her face tomorrow. She would cry she always did whenever I tried new operation on her. But in the end she would get use to it like all the other procedure I used on her.

Going to bed I looked at the mirror. All the tears I tried to hold in front of Eileen came out. I wept for my ugly daughter. As I saw my beautiful figure my lovely reflection in the mirror. I prayed to God, I begged him to bless my Eileen with my beautiful looks.


Eileen was so hideous. I looked at my beautiful head. It was smooth. There were no dirty hairs. I was bald and it looked so nice. I wished Eileen could be bald like me. But she had hideous long golden hair. I shaved her head every week. But her hair always grew back. I have taught her how to pull her hairs out of her head. It breaks my heart whenever she cried at her hideous hairs while yanking them out with her hands.


I was weeping harder as I saw my beautiful eyes. They were small and so wonderfully packed in my sockets. I had beautiful dark circles around my eyes. Eileen on the other hand got the worst eyes I could imagine. Her eyes were so big and bright. There was not a single trace of blackness around it. Oh God why you gave her such repulsive eyes?


I looked at my figure and I cried for Eileen. She was nothing like her mom. I knew I was marvelously built. I was rounding, small and so fat. I looked like a princess. Eileen was only ten but had grown like a demon. She was so hideously slim and tall. She cried when I told her that she had a height of a demon and looks of a monster.


I was going to bed when I gave one good look to my beautiful face. I thanked God for God blessed me with such an attractive face. I had such a dark complexion. My face was nothing like Eileen. She had creamy white skin. Her skin was so soft, not hard and disfigured like her mom. Her mom had beautiful scars on her face and she had none.


Oh how hard I worked on her face and her body but nothing had worked for my poor ugly child. I always used charcoal and rub dirt on her face. So she could be black like me. I made her eat food ten times a day so she could be round and fat like her mom.


I was so unhappy. My baby wanted to go out. She wanted to meet people. But I have explained it to her many times. She was not going out at any cost unless she was fine-looking like me. It would break my heart if some one would make fun of her. But I think tomorrow she would be like me. I had never used pins and needles on her face before but may be the litter surgical procedure I would perform on her would make her gorgeous. I slept.


So much blood so much pain. I shrieked with terror as I felt Eileen puking blood on her mom.

“Oh mom! Stop it, its hurting too much” Eileen whispered in agony.

I was piercing her nose with the needle I was holding. I had stitched her ugly and bloody face several times now. She was throwing so much blood at me.

“Oh Eileen I have to work a little more on your face. Don’t be a baby. This thing is working. For the first time you are looking good to me.”


Eileen was not replying. But she was still breathing. I had to tie her to the bed because her body was jerking very hard. She threw her mom off once like a demon she was. But I worked on her face for hours weeping myself. But I knew it was for my daughters on good.

So many days have passed since then. I was very proud of Eileen. She was happy too. I remember when I showed her the mirror, when she regains consciousness few days after the operation. She was jumping with joy when she saw her beautiful face.

“Hey mom I am even better looking then you!” She jumped and hugged me. I looked at her face full of scars, her abnormal nose, the way her face was scared. And hugged her back. “ Yes you are honey, finally you are.” I replied with tears of joy in my eyes.

“Hey mom can I go out now?” Eileen asked me then.

“I am afraid not. You got beautiful face like your mom but your figure is still not round and fat. You are tall and slim like a demon. We don’t want people to make fun of you”

Eileen cried hard then. She cursed God for making her ugly and I beat her badly. But now as I stood outside her room holding my axe, my operating instrument. I felt there was still hope for her. Maybe she would go out. Maybe she would be beautiful like here mom.


There were screams, there was blood but it was for Eileen’s own good. She was finally short like her mother. Now If I could do any thing about her weight!