‘Suicide Bomber’

I sit and watch. Everyone is so happy here. I am at a restaurant, a very popular fast food outlet of this lousy town. I am eating a burger and enjoying every bite of it. I never had an opportunity of eating a burger before and I guess this is the first and last time I’ll ever flavor a burger. I am going to finish this delicious burger and then I’ll blow myself.

I’ll kill myself. I would cause great pain and agony to many people here. And I would end the pain that is my life. All the pain and agony I went through ends here. All the tears I shed all the wounds I abide would disappear with me. Yes I am a ‘suicide bomber’.

There is a cute couple sitting at a table next to me. They are arguing. I hope they made up before I pull the cord of the many hidden dynamite tied all around my body, hidden under my cloth. I am distracted by the cries of one kid. He is no more then five. He is pleading his dad for an ice cream. Yeah Dad go and get your kid an ice-cream in a few minutes his bloody and torn body won’t be able to eat any ice cream ever again. I looked around me. There are many people here, more then a hundred is my estimation. And all of them are very rich and powerful. People from offices, kids with their parents, teens and even old folks all enjoying a good meal and a happy life. I wish hell to all of them and I’ll end up in heaven. The people who send me for inflicting chaos to my enemies told me this.

I don’t believe that though, Killing all these innocent people would surly earn me a first class ride to hell. The people who told me that wanted to motivate me to carry their stupid operation. They don’t know, the people who would die here won’t know either. I am doing this all for myself. I am killing poor kids and their parents all for myself. Yes I am an asshole but circumstances can make an educated and nice guy like me assholes. They can turn a commonsensical guy like me into a bloody insane human.

I want them to feel the way we feel everyday of our life. I remember well when my kid brother was shot in the head. He was shot at point blank range by the soldier who was pissed by the fact that my seven-year-old brother spat at him with all the hate of the world. The solider spat back with a bullet. I am in that soldier’s country now and all the people here are soldiers like him to me. They are the supporter of the army that is killing my people. They pay money to them and live a happy life when there money is used to put bullet in many kids in my country. The day my brother was shot was the day I turned into an asshole.

I can feel the tears coming out of my eyes. Few people are eying me suspiciously but I don’t care. I am not worried about any thing now. It would take a mere second for me to pull the cord and start a bloody massacre. I am thinking about my brother and how much I loved him. I am thinking about the time when going home I was picked up by the soldiers. They kept me under custody for over a week. They thought I was a ‘ suicide bomber’ then. I remember the torment I went through. They made me eat shit; they made me lick their shoes. Yes they beat the hell out of me, pulled my nails out with their tools. Burn my body with cigars made me puke blood every time I eat. After a week they let me go. I guess that turned me into an asshole. I went in the cell as a pissed of brother deeply wounded by his younger sibling death and walked out as a suicide bomber.
And then there are many other reasons. These soldiers drop bomb over our houses. Our women being raped everyday. And there is no one in the world to hear our pleas and cries. We are mere news to the world. Our deaths are so cheap that they don’t even count to all the happy people. People like the one I am surrounded by now. The supporters of the devils are all around me.

So that’s how an asshole suicide bomber is created. When he finds no justice, no one to fight for his bloody and torn life. And there are many like me. They want to leave a mark on this world, a bloody stain on the white cloth of life. We are dying and we in turn kill.

Yes we are wrong in killing poor innocent people. But we have gone mad seeing our loved one kill brutally and getting no tears of sorrow from other but spit of disgust on our face.

The time has come. But I am still waiting. I am waiting for the kid who was asking for an ice cream. His dad got him one and I want him to leave. He reminds me of my brother. The kid’s now gone with his dad. I looked around at the poor couple. The girl was smiling and the guy was happy. I guess they made. They are kissing now….

I pulled the cord.